Funny 50th Birthday Wishes, Messages and Quotes

Happy 50th birthday! You’re aging like wine. Congratulations!

Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, and John Bon Jovi have already turned 50 and now one more superstar has joined the club. Happy 50th birthday!

You’re just 35 with 15 bonus years. Wishing you a Happy 50th birthday!

You are halfway to a hundred but that doesn’t guarantee you will live that long. Happy 50th birthday.

You’re no longer the oldest person I know in their 40’s. Now you’re the youngest 50-year-old I know.

Now that you’re 50 you’ve probably got more hair where you don’t want it and less hair where you do want it. You can’t fight it but at least you can still let your hair down and have fun on your birthday!

If you were a dog, you would be 213 years old. So, don’t feel so bad about your age. At least you’re aging like a human. Happy 50th!

Your 40’s are behind you now, so you should have your midlife crisis out of your system. Be proud! You wear it well!

If you can blow up all your birthday balloons, then you will officially earn the right of calling yourself young at fifty. Happy 50th birthday.

Happy birthday and congratulations, you’re halfway to a telegram from the Queen. In the meantime, put your feet up and enjoy the rewards from all the hard work you put in during your 20s, 30s and 40s.

Now that you are an old 50-year-old, you only have 10 years before I call you an old 60-year-old.

Every single birthday of yours is a reminder for me that I’m not the oldest person here! Happy 50th, cheers!

It’s just about gaining few more grey hairs than me, nothing else to be worried about. Happy 50th birthday!

I hope you already saved enough money for retirement. It’s time to count them all. Happy 50th birthday!

Thanks for reminding me that I’m not as old as you. Happy Birthday you old fart!

You can’t hide your age to others. Your hair is turning gray, and wrinkles appearing. So, tell the truth, is it your 50th, or you’re lying.

Don’t ever bother spending money on anti-aging creams or face-lifting lotions. At 50, there is no turning back even with a secret potion. Happy birthday old-timer.

As you turn 50 you can age as gracefully as you like – flaunt your grays and wrinkles or use modern technology to hide them. Whichever path you choose, it only happens once so do it well and have a wonderful birthday!

You are half a century, or 5 decades, or 50 years, or 600 months, or 2609 weeks, or 18262 days, or 438288 hours, or 26297280 minutes, or 1577836800 minutes old, depending on what unit of measure you are using. Hey, at least I didn’t figure it out for seconds. Happy 50th birthday!

As we grow older, we become more open-minded and understanding. So, you’d still understand if I didn’t buy you a gift right? Cheers to you on your special day!

The older you get, the brighter your cake becomes. See? It’s all filled with burning candles. Have fun blowing!

Now the rest of your life will depend on whether you have fun by being nifty, or you become bored by being thrifty. The choice is yours. Happy 50th birthday.

Happy 50th birthday! The Romans called it ‘L’, we say ‘fifty’ and some tribes in the Amazon don’t even have a word for numbers that big. In anyone’s language, it’s a number worth celebrating.

It is never too late to grow up and stop being stupid. Maybe your 50th birthday is your chance to do just that. Happy birthday.

Midlife crisis is a label that is given to fifty year olds to stop them from being the best they can. Forget these labels and enjoy life to the fullest. Happy birthday.

Don’t worry about getting older. You can still go for facelifts to wipe out the wrinkles. Happy birthday!

You’ve got half a century of accumulated knowledge and wisdom! That would be awesome… if you could remember any of it.

I would make a joke about how old you’re getting, but I’m worried that if I hurt your feelings I might not get a chance to apologize to you since you are getting so old. Happy 50th!

Happy 50th birthday! In your fifties, you can forget about mortgages, contraception, and school fees. You’ll probably forget everything else as well, but at least now you’ll have an excuse.

Celebrating 50 is like throwing a party when your odometer reaches 150,000 miles. – Melanie White

By fifty, you’ve figured out that time is a great healer and a not-so-hot beautician.

Turning 50 means it’s only a matter of time before you’re regaling your grandkids with tales of your first colonoscopy. – Greg Tamblyn

50 years old means no more wearing speedos on the beach. This is a rule. – Greg Tamblyn

Fifty is a powerful age for women. You can set off sprinkler systems with your hot flashes.

When I was young, people used to say to me: Wait until you’re fifty, you’ll see. Well, I’m fifty. I haven’t seen anything. – Eric Satie

Fifty is a weird age. I can clearly remember my childhood, but I can’t remember where I put my keys. – Melanie White

I’m aiming by the time I’m fifty to stop being an adolescent. – Wendy Cope

At 50, you’ve entered the stone age: gall, kidney, and bladder.

Maybe it’s true that life begins at fifty. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out. – Phyllis Diller

Who said there were no such things as miracles? You made it to 50, didn’t you? – Melanie White

The face you have at age twenty-five is the face God gave you, but the face you have after fifty is the face you earned. – Cindy Crawford

You’ve got four sizes of clothes in your closet, three of which will never be worn again by you.

After fifty, one ceases to digest. As someone once said, “I just ferment my food now. – Henry Green

I’m 50, and the only thing getting thinner is my skin. – Melanie White

Thanks for reminding me that I’m not as old as you. Happy 50th birthday!

You’ve been in your thirties so many years. I’m quite unsure about your age this year. Maybe it’s the fifty. Happy birthday anyway!

Something special in you always helps you stand out in a crowd. That’s your age!

I believe you’re here since the dawn of time. Dinosaurs have gone extinct, but you are still here. Congratulations to you and happy 50th birthday, of course!

A man never gets older, he can only get wiser. Remember this quote forever, and you’ll never feel sad. Happy birthday!

I’m good with numbers, and your age always fascinates me. I believe you’ve been here since the beginning of this universe!

I always get my inspiration from you. You’re such a strong and courageous woman. I don’t think anyone else survived the dinosaurs except you!

Today you have achieved a milestone. A 50-year older woman 50th birthday to my favorite old and not so wise lady!

Growing older and growing wiser are two different cases. And I don’t blame you for that. Happy birthday my sweetheart!

I hope to celebrate your 50th birthday for many more years to come. Here’s a happy birthday from me for year one!

For me, your birthday is like a national holiday. Whatever I do and wherever I maybe, I’ll always find ways to wish you happy birthday!

Dear Mom, I hope you know how hard it is to find you a birthday gift every year because you have too many birthdays! Just kidding. Happy 50th birthday to you!

Don’t ever let dad say you are getting old. You’re still as youthful and gorgeous as you were in your thirties. Happy 50th birthday, mom!

I wonder what your friends would gift you on your birthdays when you were my age? Ancient papyrus greeting cards?

I know it hurts to see people enjoying the fact that you are getting older and greyer. But you are not getting younger anyway. Happy 50th birthday, dad!

Today, so many people will bring gifts for you. But since it’s difficult for you to keep all the gifts, I’m thinking of helping you by keeping them all.

I prayed to God to make you older and wiser. Only the first one came true. Happy birthday my love. Wishing God bless you with the second one as soon as possible.

I know it’s hard to enjoy being old when you are old. But, hey, it’s okay if you ask me. I had just passed the same line a few years ago. Happy 50th birthday!

From now on, you can enjoy all your senior citizen discounts, just like me. Happy 50th birthday and best wishes to you!

Today is the day you can pretend to be young even though you’re not. Happy 50th birthday, my love.

Half of our budget for celebrating your birthday went to buying candles. Try getting younger or stop getting more birthdays!

I’ve known you for so many years, and I must admit that you are much older today than you were when we first met. Happy 50th birthday, dear!

You know you’re 50 when the only silver lining you can see is on your head. – Melanie White

For my 50th birthday, my husband and I spent a weekend in Rehoboth Beach. My first choice was in 1978, but the time machine was booked. – Jean Sorensen

I rented a bounce house for my adults-only 50th birthday and had a blast jumping in the stupid thing. I kept expecting the Age Police to show up and ticket me. – Janet Periat

Happy 50th – the years look good on you! But then, I don’t see as well as I used to. – Melanie White

At 50 years old, life seems shorter. No point in spending it trying to make yourself disappear by dieting.

As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can’t remember the other two. – Sir Norman Wisdom

My 50th birthday wish: that I had as much silver in my safe as I have in my hair. – Melanie White

50 years old: In Led Zeppelin terms, that’s halfway up the stairway to heaven.

In your 20s: Looking for your perfect match. In your 50s: Just happy if your socks match. – East of Sweden

50 years old? Look on the bright side. The older you get, the more likely you are to outlive your child support payments. – Melanie White

When I turn 50, instead of lying about my age and putting it back 10 years, I’ll put it forward 10 years so I can freely talk about my bowel movements. – Thrill Tweeter

Now that I’m 50, my body pops and creaks so much, it sounds like the percussion section at the symphony. – Greg Tamblyn

Now that I’m 50, people try to be polite, and instead of calling me old, they say I’m mature. Obviously they don’t know me very well. – Melanie White