Nowadays the Internet and magazines are full of articles dedicated to mental growth and emotional well-being. Whenever you look, everyone strongly recommends you not to suppress emotions, especially negative ones, because it’s dangerous. Sure, it’s been scientifically proven that suppressed emotions are enormously harmful to both physical and emotional well-being.
Have you ever imagined, what would happen if all people expressed the full spectrum of their emotions? As a businesswoman, I can state with confidence that it’s not a good idea, because the world will turn into a madhouse in a twinkling of an eye.
No matter whether you like it or not, everything is based on certain rules, rights, opportunities and limitations. If you want to be a successful law-abiding citizen, you have to stick to these rules and professional ethics. It means that you should behave according to already settled social standards and realize that every unconsidered action can cause either positive or undesirable consequences.
Frankly speaking, I’m not the one who thinks that emotional expression is bad. In my opinion, people should channel their positive and negative emotions for the sake of their well-being, but it’s necessary to do it correctly. Here are a few rules to follow when bottling up your emotions.
1. Understand that excessive emotionality can cause psychological disorders
Human psyche is a powerful mechanism that experiences numerous emotional overloads every day. But it won’t last forever, because people are used to run to extremes in everything they do.
If someone gives them an advice to become more emotional to release deep-seated and harmful emotions, they usually camp it up. They do it, as if they don’t realize that their impulsive and aggressive behavior can have a negative impact on their mental health and reputation. When they prefer to gain control of unwanted emotions, they become excessively reserved, as if they cannot understand that too much of a good thing can make them unhappy and trigger psychological disorders and diseases.
You see that both excessive emotionality and emotional restraint aren’t safe. As soon as you find a balance between these two points, you’ll become emotional and reserved within reasonable limits.
2. Leave the battlefield
Many people never leave the battlefield, because they fear to look like cowards and come down in other people’s opinions. I think that it’s just a stereotype and it can only draw them into different conflicts and unwanted situations. It often happens that people who carry a lot of weight with them start abusing their position and raising the voice to stand their ground and reach a desirable result. In such a case, you can either uphold your opinion to the bitter end or pull yourself together and postpone the conflict.
I believe that leaving isn’t a dishonorable action, but a wise and rational decision that gives you time and opportunity to prevent a fight, calm down, debate a matter in your mind and decide what to say or how to behave in one situation or another.
If you choose to stay and swallow your pride, instead of leaving or standing your ground, you’ll just absorb a big portion of negativity and stress. As a result, it will have a negative impact on your health due to unreleased and unexpressed negative emotions.
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3. Use your imagination
Psychologists say that human imagination can help people cope even with the strongest feelings and emotions. It means that you can deceive your mind, using imagination, if necessary. Visualization techniques are more effective than different affirmations, because the mind is more receptive to mental images.
Every time I feel that anger and aggression are conquering my mind, I imagine that my body is like an overheated car. I start focusing on the process of breathing. I inhale and exhale air to cool down and rid every cell of my body of steam, stress and tension.
Eupnoea, visualization and positive thinking usually get my body back to a normal state after a stressful situation in a quite short period of time. When I feel anxious about something, I just try to mentally escape from a harsh reality and imagine that I’m lying on the beach and enjoying the sounds of the ocean. This effective technique gives me an opportunity to bottle up my emotions and relax at the same time.
4. Talk it out with your best friend
Life is full of situations when you should show restraint and swallow emotional pain by all means. It doesn’t mean that you’re diffident and emotionally weak person, but sometimes you can’t tell your parent, loved one or boss outright what you think about them. At this rate, you should find an outlet for this suppressed and dangerous emotional pain.
There’re many old school techniques to release stress and emotions, but I’ve noticed that a frank conversation with a friend is the best one and it has a true healing effect. A good friend will always lend their shoulder, no matter whether you’re in danger or just need to speak out your heart. But you shouldn’t turn weeping on a friend’s shoulder into a habit, because no one would like to become your personal psychotherapist.
5. Watch other people handle stressful situations
Every person has their own vision of the world, attitudes, habits, values and behaviors. Someone handles emotions effectively and often remains calm regardless of everything, while others may have difficulty with emotional regulation.
Everything depends on human skills, type of character, mindset and age. Adults usually find it difficult to change their character and nature, but I wholeheartedly believe that even an adult can develop the ability to control and regulate emotions. All you have to do is open your eyes and take a look around.
As a part of a society, you have an opportunity to observe and model other people’s manner of dealing with feelings and emotions. Every successful and wise person can teach you to respond to various emotions and troubles in the correct way. When I was a child, I always imitated my grandma’s behavior, because she was the main role model for me. She taught me to overcome anger and fear through prayer.
6. Change your attitude and response
Wise people say that there’re no insoluble problems in this world. An essential part of every problem is human attitude. Next time you suppress some kind of negative emotion, you should reflect a bit on the importance of the matter that causes emotional pain in the depth of your heart. If it’s not of great importance, then you should just change your attitude towards obsessive emotions. As a result, it will change the response of your subconscious mind to the problem and give you a chance to become an emotionally stable and reserved personality.
Read also – 8 Effective Ways to Tame Your Anger
7. Seek professional advice
If you still don’t know how to deal with your emotions and have no concrete ideas how to shift focus and change the attitude in a stressful situation, then you should seek professional help.
Unfortunately, sometimes motivational techniques don’t lead to a successful result. It happens when people suffer from different psychological disorders, including depression. I know that it’s extremely difficult to come face to face with a severe depression and realize that there’s no way out of a vicious circle.
Believe me, there’s always a way out. Just consult a doctor and try to find an individual approach to your problem together. They’ll give you a professional advice on how to improve your emotional regulation and stay both mentally and physically healthy.
As a civilized person, you know what emotion to show and what to hide. But you should never forget to release them, because forgotten negative emotions can spoil the quality of your life. I hope this article has taught you to manage emotions effectively and safely. What way do you suppress your emotions? Share your experiences!