Parents are gods in the eyes of their children. It’s a big responsibility for them, because their task is to bring up a kind-hearted, well-bred and all-rounded person. What is the main factor that exerts big influence on the development of a child? The atmosphere in the family plays an important role. It defines the quality of interrelations between family members.
Family is the world of mutual relationship, rules and traditions, where a group of people live together for better and for worse. Whether intentionally or not, many parents make mistakes in the process of upbringing. A bit later these mistakes turn into negative parenting habits and make children weak and unsuccessful in future.
When I worked as a guidance counselor at school, I had to deal with the parent’s pedagogical incompetence of both trouble-free and disadvantaged families. I came to a conclusion that parent’s careless words and habits could be very harmful to their kids. It was hard to come to an understanding with people who were blind to evident things and couldn’t admit their mistakes.
I still think that arrogance and excessive adherence to principle are absolutely irrelevant when it comes to the life of your child. They can just prevent your kids from happiness and prosperity. I want to draw your attention to the following parenting habits which don’t let your children unveil their potential, but makes them good for nothing.
1. Parent’s succour is always near
Nowadays many parents prefer to treat their children too solicitously. As a result, children cannot develop all necessary life skills, because parents are always close at hand. They’re ready to do and endure everything for the sake of their child’s safety. You should understand that sooner or later your child will have to cope with harsh realities of life without your help. Small life issues and troubles are a wonderful chance for them to become mature and experienced in cooperating with the world.
Don’t run to extremes and try to think rationally. It doesn’t mean that you’ll never give a helping hand to your child. As a caring parent, you will, but you should do it correctly. Give your child an opportunity to handle the situation. Your task is to monitor the situation and give valuable advices, if necessary. Let your child become strong and self-confident leader.
2. You prevent them from taking risks
Modern world is extremely dangerous and wonderful at the same time. Every day and every minute you go hand in hand with bad people and sometimes have to tolerate their constant tricks. It’s almost impossible to avoid all risks, because life is a struggle. Even those who do their best to avoid risks, have a risk to suffer from fear and numerous phobias.
No matter how you slice it, risks make your child more experienced and resistant to stress. Psychologists suggest that it’s crucially important for children to take small risks and step outside their comfort zone gradually since their psyche is very vulnerable to emotional overload.
No one likes pampered young ladies and diffident boys. These young people usually live a limited life and cannot achieve desirable results. Don’t let your parenting habits complicate the life of your kid.
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3. Giving material rewards
Unfortunately, today material rewards have become the best motivation for people. Many parents cannot resist the temptation to buy their kids everything just to encourage them to study diligently and be more active. If your children start associating diligent study and good behavior with material rewards, you’ll have to present them with a gift every time they do something appropriately. Otherwise, they’ll lose motivation and desire to succeed in something. Parents should always remain reasonable and try to find other ways of encouragement, if they don’t want to fall into a trap of their dear kids. Explain to them that their success depends on their actions and thoughts. You may also praise and persuade them that every good deed makes them stronger.
Families where material rewards have become an essential part of a happy relationship are doomed to failure. One day for one or another reason, you may lose everything, even your children’s love. Love and other feelings in such families aren’t strong, because kids think about material gains only.
4. You forbid them to live freely
I know many families where parents think that they’re the only ones who know what their children really need. They often refuse to reckon with the child’s point of view and don’t believe in their abilities. This approach can quickly disillusion and lead the child up the garden path, because no one likes to be treated with disrespect.
In the twinkling of an eye children will grow up and start holding their ground and making their forbidden dreams come true. I hope you know that forbidden fruit is always sweet. All you can do is try to come to terms with them since a conflict between parents and children is a dangerous thing. Parent’s desire to obtrude opinions upon children can seriously damage the child’s self-esteem.
5. You don’t share your life experiences with kids
Very soon your children will have to make a step into an adult life. This life is not only a set of new pleasure and opportunities. It requires you to find your calling, take new responsibilities and make serious life decisions. Caring parents should try to prepare their kids for all possible challenges and problems on their way to success. Find time to explain to children that only a strong will power and desire to live can help them go through hard times and move on in spite of everything. You should be a role model and the best mentor for your children, because you’re the one who already knows all their strengths and weaknesses. I’m sure that your life mistakes and experiences will help your child become wise and successful personalities.
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Parenting habits can have a negative impact on the life of their children. When you become a parent, you should also be a hard-working, wise and forward-thinking person. It’s important to become aware of your words and habits, because your children will follow your example. The future of your child depends on the quality of upbringing. Do you believe that parenting habits can make the child miserable and weak? Why do many parents still make these mistakes? We’d like to know your point of view!