10 Personal Topics You Do Not Have to Discuss with Your Parents
You are a grown-up now. This means you no longer have to answer to parents who are asking too much about your personal life. While it might sound rude and ungrateful, you are responsible for your own happiness now.
Just because they are your parents does not give them the right to cross specific boundaries anymore. You are free to set up those borders to keep everyone content without ruining your relationships. Here are several personal topics that you do not have to discuss with your parents anymore:
1. Mental health
Unless you are completely sound in heart and mind, you should not discuss your mental health problems with your parents. Whether your parents handle this poorly or are quite supportive, there are just somethings that you need to deal with by yourself.
I know, personally, that whenever I am depressed, I try to hide it the best I can from my mother. I would rather make her think that I am doing well, because I know that my smile means the world to her. Since we are so far apart, it would be a stake in the heart for her to find out that I am struggling or feeling unwell in some way. Depending on your situation, your mental health is best left alone.
2. Secrets other relatives shared with you
Nothing will make you look more like a hypocrite than playing the he-said, she-said game with family members. It is not particularly healthy to pit family against one another. Besides, it is perfectly fine to share various levels of trust and respect amongst relatives.
Many families have the aunts, cousins, uncles, and grandparents who will spill the beans about your parents or another relative that is clearly meant solely for you and no one else. Sometimes, these details are about their personal lives. You would not like someone sharing your personal information with your parents behind your back, would you?
3. When you do not listen to their advice
Parents generally expect their children to not listen to them from time-to-time. That is Parenting 101. However, you probably should not tell them that when they gave your super helpful advice for dodging a specific woe that one time and you chose to ignore it or do the exact opposite. Do not be that person and rub it in their face. That wisdom of theirs does not come easy, after all.
4. Financial details
Unless you are still dependent on your parents or owe them money (like me), there is no reason you need to say how well off you are. Personally, even though I am indebted to my parents for helping with college, I simply pay them back when I can or give them updates on when money is coming. That is all.
Parents are happy just knowing that you are financially stable. Keep your monetary decisions to yourself. Also, there is no reason for you to go snooping around their banking details anymore either. You are all responsible adults here.
5. Age-related topics
No one wants their children to look them dead in the eye and say, “Wow, you look really old.” I swear, that would bring down death’s scythe quicker than anything else. Not only are you being clearly insensitive to their feelings and mortality, but you are reminding them that there will come a day when they are no longer here to support you. Seriously, avoid the whole age thing. Ether tell them they look great for their age or say nothing at all.
Read also – 8 Ways to Train Your Brain to Think Positively
6. Reproductive timeline
Your parents probably want grandkids. They might think you are better off with goldfish or investing in your education. Whatever their opinions, you have to remember that it is your body. Whether you want children or not and when you want them is your decision alone. You have control of your own womb.
This means that you do not have to ask for advice unless you truly feel you need it. The only person who you should be discussing your reproductive timeline with is the person you might one day want to start a family with. That is it.
7. Your grievances with your childhood
My parents know they messed up sometimes. I still turned out okay. I would never say that I hate them for doing something wrong or that they raised me horribly. Everyone makes mistakes. We are humans.
It is part of the growing up experience, and parents have to do the “growing up” thing two times or more in their lifetime. You can tell them about the times they really hurt your feelings or left emotional scars, though.
For example, my father used to be berate my appearance when I was overweight and had bad eating habits. This perpetrated my eating disorder. When I figured this out, I told him straight up, “Dad, those things you said to me when I was kid messed me up… but I do not hate you for it. I forgive you and I am stronger because of it.” In other words, do not swear at them. Compliment them for what they did well or try to see the positive side.
8. Trouble with your significant other
I have never had this problem because my love life is my own… but I have seen friends of mine have fall outs with parents because their family liked their SO and treated them like one of their own. Imagine how hard that hits when you suddenly decide to break up with this person.
On the other side, your parents might try to dominate the relationship by telling you whether or not said SO is right for you. Remember that whole thing about not following their advice? Yeah, that applies here too. Leave them out of your love woes. Save your tears for your BFF and the wine bottle, okay?
9. Sexual exploits
Again, your love life should be kept underwraps. Your parents did not discuss their bedroom playtime with you as a child, and you should not expect for them to want to hear who you lost your virginity to or that amazing move Brad did last night. It is not cool. Nor do they need to know how many men or women you are seeing at one time. Your sexual identity and personal identity do not have to intermingle unless you want them to.
10. Your mistakes
So you overspent on something. You over drank and ended up kissing the toilet all morning. Do not tell your parents that. They do not need to know about every muck up you make. If you tell them, you can’t guarantee the story is not going to circulate through the family tree and make it back to you on Thanksgiving.
Keep in mind that any of these topics are not something you should completely shut off from your family if you have a healthy relationship with them and a decent outlook on life. You are free to make your own decisions – that is the beauty of adulthood.
However, you should know that you do not have to explain anything you do not want to. You do not have to answer intrusive questions. And you certainly do not have to discuss topics like the ones I mentioned above to your parents if you do not feel comfortable.