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7 Things We Should Stop Controlling in Life

Kate Gitman 6 months ago - in Lifestyle

People feel an irresistible desire to control everything because of their innate fear that something may go wrong if they stop doing it. Control is always associated with security and stability. People always want to know what will happen tomorrow and what the future will look like. But overall control literally holds you back from living your life to the fullest.

In fact, the only thing you can control in your life is your own behavior and attitude. Obviously you can influence people and events, but you can’t take complete control over the situation. Once you understand it and let some things go, your life will become much easier. I was often called a control freak and I could do nothing with that wasting habit. But I’ve realized that certain things in our life should take its normal course. Here are seven things we should stop controlling starting today.

1. Future

Future is never certain, no matter how much you want to define it. When I was trying to control my future, I felt exceedingly unhappy since I expected too much from my life and people around me. When you live in constant expectance it prevents you from appreciating what you have now. But now is actually all we have. Once you realize it, you will free yourself from the burden of heavy thoughts. I continue making plans but I take it easy when things go different.

2. What other people say and do

The truth is that people owe you nothing and nobody has to correspond to your expectations. The easiest way to start appreciating people is to stop trying to control what others say, think, do or feel. The way we want people to behave is not always the right way. Once you understand that, you will notice how diverse and unique people are. It’s our right to be who we are and no one can deprive us of this liberty. Just imagine that someone intends to pull your strings, won’t you get irritated?

3. Men

Only few people enjoy being controlled. When it comes to men, you should stop controlling them. Any attempt of controlling men looks like you want to get upper hand over them. Use your female charms and beauty to get what you need from your colleague, neighbor or any other male interlocutor. You will be truly surprised at how active and initiative men become when nobody controls them.

4. Inevitable events

What’s the use of being anxious and concerned about something that will happen no matter what? If you can’t change the situation, try to change your attitude. Instead of trying to control the forthcoming event, get prepped for it. When I was about to graduate from the university, I was highly stressed and troubled about my future job, adult life and complete independence. However, the most important thing is to do your best and see what will happen. This attitude helped me to combat stress and get my new life off the ground.

Read also – 9 Life Lessons I Learned the Hard Way

5. Relationships

The habit of controlling relationships is actually a bad habit. While you have to make efforts and invest in your relationship, it has nothing in common with control and supervision. My recent failed relationship ended because of my desire to plan everything from what we would eat for breakfast to where we would spend our vacation. But soon it turned out that my boyfriend had no privacy, personal opinion and initiative. No wonder my relationship failed. Once in a while let yourself be thoughtless and light-hearted.

6. Job and business

Being an entrepreneur is always risky and unstable. Even if your business is well-run to stand all the twists and turns of the economy and competition, you never know what will happen tomorrow. Your sales growth rate or income is very changeable and uncertain. The only thing you can really control is your personal efforts and productivity.

7. Everything that can happen to our kinsfolk

Without question, our nearest and dearest are the most important people in our life and the fact that we try to control and protect them is understandable. But what can you achieve by controlling? Our life is inherently dangerous and unpredictable and it’s almost impossible to guard your children or friends against an accident or a trouble. The categorical fact is that death is the only guaranteed thing, everything else is optional. That’s why you’d better live your life and enjoy every moment spent with your people you love.

When you stop controlling everything it doesn’t mean you surrender. You just accept the natural flow of things and enjoy the reality you have. I’m not going to say that our efforts are unimportant, but the ability to take the situation easy is also essential. The list of things you should stop controlling is considerably bigger, but the aforementioned points can help you feel happier and more content.