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The Importance of Saying No

Kate Gitman 6 months ago - in Career, Lifestyle

How many times have you said ‘Yes’ when you wanted to say something completely different? I’ve noticed that I feel terrible in such situations. I don’t want to be impolite, selfish and rude and I don’t want to disappoint others. I often say ‘Yes’ just to avoid unnecessary questions and confrontations. However, saying ‘Yes’ is a wasting habit that eats up energy and time. Do you really think that your needs are less important than the needs of your friends, colleagues and others? When you try to please everyone you can lose your true self. Thus you should learn to say ‘No’ and enjoy your life.

1. Eliminate unhealthy relationships

Saying ‘Yes’ to everybody can lead to a toxic relationship. Indeed, some people just try to avoid their responsibilities and duties, thus they appear in your life only when they want something from you. However, if you manage to say ‘No’ at least once, they’ll try to find someone else to manipulate. The ability to say ‘No’ will improve the quality of your relationship with people and reveal your true friends.

2. More time

You have only 24 hours in a day and it’s up to you to manage your time properly. If you feel that you’re short of time or that you waste your time fulfilling other people’s requests, chances are you’ll never reach your own goals. Other people cannot determine your day and to-do list. Don’t be afraid to say openly ‘No, I won’t do that because I have no time’. Straightforwardness is disarming and helpful when you want to settle a question.

3. You can focus on important things

When you say ‘Yes’ to unimportant things you put off your own goals. Try to concentrate on things that promote your professional and personal advancement. Get rid of any distractions and focus your attention on inspirational and useful subjects. When I eliminated all the distractions and minor things I became a more productive and successful person.

4. Overwork

It’s great if you jump at every opportunity that your work offers. It’s okay if you want to prove your commitment, get advancement and earn some money. But most probably you’re just afraid to face the results of saying ‘No.’ Being overwhelmed and overstressed with your work won’t make you a successful person. You should know your limits and capabilities. Remember that it’s absolutely okay to refuse doing work for your colleagues or take additional work.

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5. No manipulation

You’d better stay away from people who try to manipulate your opinion and behavior. You’re not a puppet on a string and others cannot rule your life. The problem is that many people feel guilty and miserable when they say ‘No,’ even if they know it’s a cynical manipulation. You should learn to see the difference between a friendly request and manipulation. Being manipulated is extremely harmful; gradually you accumulate resentment and anger and chances are a little trifle will turn into a great falling-out.

6. Higher level of happiness and satisfaction

Happiness is about living in sync with your needs and actions. Saying ‘No’ to things and people that drain you can greatly simplify your life and make you a more content person. Sure, you should say ‘No’ in a polite and positive manner. Start the statement with “Thanks, but…” and your opponent will hardly get angry with you. Being happy isn’t so hard; you should just recognize and do what you really want.

7. Being selfish isn’t so bad

Many people avoid saying ‘No’ because it looks like you’re selfish. However, is selfishness a totally bad thing? Don’t jump to conclusions. Psychology experts claim that being selfish can make you a happier, healthier and better person. Surprisingly, but those who take care of their needs first have better relationships with others because they can set boundaries and keep certain distance. That’s why it’s okay to give up the idea of overall altruism and start living your life to the fullest. It took me a considerable amount of time to realize that putting myself first is normal. It’s just my right to fulfill my needs first.

8. Less stress

Each time you say ‘No’ to unwanted things, you say ‘Yes’ to something really interesting and worthwhile. However, when you keep back the desire to refuse, you suffer from anxiety, reproaches and even physical pain. The difference between your actions and thoughts is the major stressor. Fortunately, you can take control over the situation, you should simply say ‘No’ when you really want to say it.

You’ll find it difficult to reject people’s requests and most probably you’ll face some misunderstanding and resentment. But it’s your life and your right to decide what’s worth your time and energy. You don’t have to explain anything, just make sure your refusals sound polite and respectful. The ability to say ‘No’ will bring peace and enjoyment into your life. How often do you say ‘Yes’ when you want to say ‘No’?